


Congress out of Wedlock

by smoothmovebro



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Eggsy is just plain lucky, First Meetings, Harry Hart is a Catholic whore, M/M, Roxy knows a fine specimen when she sees one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-20
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-03-18 19:00:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3580392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smoothmovebro/pseuds/smoothmovebro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roxy just wanted to take a photo of that fine-looking gentleman. Eggsy didn't expect he'd get picked up at the pub.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this post](http://homohighness.tumblr.com/post/114133329524/my-friend-thought-you-were-cute-so-she-tried-to).  
> I am Kingsman stronzo.

“Mr. Posh Sugar Daddy at 3 o’ clock,” Roxy muttered. “Gotta capture this fine piece of specimen,” she said as she whipped out her phone. Eggsy glanced to see who she was talking about.

Oh, dear God in heaven, she was right. Gentleman in a business suit sitting at the bar, drinking scotch. Looking _impossibly attractive_ and shouldn’t he be concerned that the man looks old enough to be his father? If Eggsy was alone, he would’ve already started a conversation with the man.

“I’m sending this to Gazelle, she’ll love it.”

The bright flash that beamed out of her phone startled both Roxy and Eggsy. Eggsy found himself clutching Roxy’s phone. The stranger gave a curious glance in their direction.

“For fuck’s sake, Roxy! What was that for?” Eggsy cried.

“I’m so sorry!” Roxy was trying to control her embarrassment. The stranger was already approaching their table.

Eggsy stood up. “Look, bruv, I’m so sorry about that. We didn’t mean to be so blatant,” he shot a pointed glance at Roxy, “about taking your photo. Look, we’ll delete it.” Eggsy proceeded to tap at the upper left-hand corner of Roxy’s screen, cancelling the photo. He handed the phone back to Roxy. “I promise we won’t do it again. Innit, Rox?”

“Apologies, sir, for my rudeness,” Roxy said.

“It’s fine.” The stranger turned to Eggsy. “I was just about to approach your table, anyway.” There seemed to be a glint in his eye, or maybe Eggsy was fooled by the lighting in the pub.

“What for?” Eggsy stuttered. The man leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

“I am a Cathoic whore, currently looking for someone to enjoy congress out of wedlock with.” He pulled back to glance at Eggsy. “And I may have found the perfect candidate.”

Eggsy was breathless. He opened his mouth to say something witty, but the man beat him to it.

“Miss, if you wouldn’t mind, may I borrow your friend for the night? He might come back a little bruised in the neck but I suppose he can manage.”

Roxy spat out her drink.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was too good an idea for it to end just like that.

“What kind of bloke are ya? Do you pick up boys in pubs and whisk them away to your posh flat?”

Eggsy is walking out of the pub with the stranger. The man didn’t make a move to hail a cab so the place they’re going to must be near.

“You could say that,” the man said.

“If you’re such a gentleman, how come you’ve never introduced yourself?”

That made the man stop in his tracks. He turned around and held out his hand. “Harry Hart.”

“Eggsy Unwin.” Eggsy shook Harry’s hand…

Only to be pulled in for a kiss.

Man, this bloke is _sly_. First, the smooth remark at the pub, now this? Eggsy is starting to think this guy must be some con artist, using him to get his personal information and commit some identity crime. A guy can’t be that cool and suave without knowing how to steal your watch without knowing it or something. Harry Hart is way too posh and high-class to even glance in Eggsy’s direction.

But fuck it, this man is _awesome_ at snogging. His grip on Eggsy was possessive, one hand on his neck and the other on the small of his back. Eggsy stood on his tiptoes to meet up with Harry, holding on to his lapels for leverage. All plush lips and just that little bit of tongue, Eggsy was thanking Roxy is his mind that her phone managed to let him land a bloke like Harry Hart.

His lips are soft and insistent, Harry’s scent washing over Eggsy. He pulled their bodies flush, trying to savour as much as he could from the other man. They’ve only known each other for less than a day and yet this one kiss felt right, like this was something he’s been doing for a long time.

When they come up for air, Eggsy cracked a laugh. “Bruv, we’ve just snogged and I’m stiffer than glass.”

“I’ve been known to have a… _profound_ effect on people.”

“Well, Mr. Hart, I’d like to see what you’re made of.”

* * *

The door to Harry’s flat opened and Eggsy pinned the older man against the wall adjacent to the door. Frantically, they divested themselves of their clothes, leaving a trail towards the bedroom.

Harry pushed Eggsy down on the bed, pinned his wrists above his head. He kissed his way south, starting from Eggsy’s jawline, down to his navel, and finally, his cock.

Eggsy’s hands immediately tangled in Harry’s hair. The heat of his mouth, tongue licking the underside of his cock, his own hand stroking his erection. It was too much.

His climax swelled within in him, starting from the base of his spine to the rest of his body. Eggsy hadn’t felt that good in months.

Harry pulled back. “I take it you’ve had experience?” Eggsy nodded. He spreads his legs a little wider, beckoning the older man. “Just prep me up,” Eggsy purred.

Harry leaned over to grab a bottle of lube. Eggsy swallowed thickly as Harry slicked up his fingers, thick liquid slowly flowing down the back of his hand.

A gasp escaped Eggsy’s lips when a digit rubbed against his hole. The muscle fluttered under Harry’s firm touch and Eggsy gripped the sheets. Harry’s finger continued to press against the resistance until it slipped in the tight heat just past the first knuckle. Eggsy let out a ragged breath, the finger insistently pressing in. Soon, Harry’s hand was pressed against Eggsy, his index finger all the way in.

His hand stilled, letting Eggsy adjust to the digit. He shallowly thrusted his finger in and out of Eggsy, the younger man’s gasps in time with the thrusts. Harry is pulled down for a sloppy kiss, Eggsy’s cock rubbing in between their bodies. Harry continued to fingerfuck Eggsy, introduced a second finger just as slow as the first. The younger man threw his head back at the slow, simmering burn. He moaned when Harry scissors his fingers in Eggsy, preparing him for his cock.

“Please,” Eggsy breathes. Harry reaches once again for the lube, this time slicking up his cock. He guided his cock into Eggsy, the fullness an overwhelming sensation. Eggsy wrapped his legs around Harry’s torso, digging his heels into the older man’s lower back. They both gasped at the sensation, Harry stilling to let Eggsy adjust to his cock.

Eggsy rolled his hips, coaxing Harry. The older man gets the message and meets Eggsy halfway, causing the boy to say his name in a strangled moan. Harry sets a slow and steady rhythm. He pants, snapping his hips against Eggsy. The boy looks at him, his pupils blown wide. “Holy shit, you feel so good,” he moaned brokenly.

Harry groans, the praise going straight to his cock. He thrusts harder, sets a more brutal rhythm. Now the boy is positively screaming, Harry’s cock hitting his prostate with every thrust. “Harry! Fuck, just like that!”

Harry takes Eggsy in his hand, pumps the boy’s cock.  One, two, three, and he’s spilling in Harry’s hand. The older man comes moments later, his hot seed filling Eggsy.

They are still in their post-coital bliss. They pant in syncopated breaths. Slowly, Harry pulls out, causing Eggsy to hiss.

“You,” the younger man panted, “totally made my night.”

“As have you,” Harry said in the same breathless tone.

Eggsy rolled lazily on his side. He traced patterns on Harry’s chest. “You said I was a perfect candidate for congress out of wedlock?” Harry hummed, unsure where Eggsy was going with this. “Maybe I could be the perfect candidate to go out on a date with you?”

Harry chuckled. “My dear boy, you are as smooth as sandpaper.”

Eggsy glanced at the older man. “Posh folks love a bit of rough,” he said before he kissed Harry deeply. When he pulled back, he asked, “So it’s a yes, then?”

“Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rarely write porn so please tell me if you like it!


End file.
